so why I'm waiting.

For you to knock at the door, for me to get my hopes up, to give you another chance, to hand you the knife so you can take another stab at my heart. I slam the door at the thought of you being apart of my life. You don't and will never deserve a second chance, you let the situation of intoxication ruin us. And I'm not going to in good sober standing let you back in. Those chants of love and desire were all fueled by liquid courage. You still disgust me, and I hope the door slams your fingers or possibly more on your way out of my life.

Ah Richmond.

With you cold sidewalks, uneven pavement, smell of smog in the air, and amazing veganess around almost every corner if you go down the right streets. You, Richmond, still scare me, well not scare int he monster in my closet sense, its just intimating. But I'm really starting to like Richmond, being with EJ helps, everything he does, says, and feels towards me makes Richmond a little better. So I might look for a job here. Since I only have classes on Monday and Wednesday. I could see him the rest of the week and come back on Sunday. But back to Richmond,"Fist City" you might be replacing Virginia Beach, and its only been 2 weekends since I've been here, <3

its 4:03am.

And I've never really noticed how much more I love you when you sleep, take that as creepy if you want. But when you rest nothing bothers you, but possibly the sound of others being drunk and loud. I can stop that from happening by hugging you and giving you my love, which is hopefully good enough. I love you EJ<3 I love it when you aren't complaining, pointing out societies flaws, or hurting other peoples feelings, but sometimes thats always nice to laugh at.

Lovey dovey songs that make me upset.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I57wsDc200U
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qZN5hOJFz4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ofeDruIwTM


Not that anyone cares, but I've been very sensitive lately. Normally my chest peice scares most peopel off, but now its a conversation peice, damn my artistic talents. Ugh, either way, people wont leave me alone at TCC, I'm seriously thinking about making a bubble, that only my boyfriend is allowed in. Since hes the only one that doesn't get on my last nerves. I miss him soo much, hes at the state capital, RVA and I'm stuck in Va beach, someone get me out of here, I need to transfer to VCU or some other community college, but I can't afford it. My mother and father are going through financhal issues like everyone else. But my little sister just wants to be spoiled, I swear I'm gona quit school for a bit after this semester, maybe a break is what I need. Ugh, I have no fucking clue, and I'm sure most of this doesn't make sense.

wow.

Long time no post, and boy was I bat shit crazy before, so disregard my last posts. Lets see whats new, beside TCC still, driving aka got my license, dating the most amazing boy ever, going to move to richmond soon, and yeah everything is pretty nice. I'm not doing too terribly well at TCC but I'll make up for it when I transfer and move out on my own. As for my darling other half that I'm lucky as sin to have back, hes amazing, I've never had someone like this. Its almost like I want to pinch my self to make sure its fucking real. EPP! Either way, things are great after a bit of a rocky start we are doing rather well. :)